Couple Therapy

It has been said that most couples only ever really have one argument. The subject of the argument may vary greatly, from apparently trivial issues such as the washing-up to huge questions such as whether or not to have children. What often remains the same, however, is how the argument unfolds.

One of you might tend to “flare up” in arguments with a raised voice, criticism and blame. The other might then tend to shut down and withdraw. You might find that both of you end up pulling away from each other or in some cases, both partners escalate until all you get is a very noisy shouting match.

Whichever way it goes, most distressed couples tend to have a very particular pattern of conflict that repeats over and over again without resolution. Over time, this leaves both partners feeling discouraged, exhausted and lonely.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples is a proven and effective intervention, backed by decades of research evidence, that helps partners identify where they are getting disconnected and what feelings are driving that disconnection. It also helps them explore how their ways of coping with that distress might in fact be sabotaging their relationship.

Renowned in the couple therapy world for its high success rates, EFT creates a safe and protected space for couples to access and articulate what is really going on for them in the hurt, stuck places that sit beneath the conflict. They are then helped to take the risk of sharing those experiences with each other and learning to listen in a way that moves them towards greater connection, trust, stability and intimacy.

I am fully certified as an EFT therapist by the International Center for Excellence in EFT (ICEEFT), the global body that supervises and monitors EFT activity around the world.

EFT Intensive

For some couples leading busy lives, it can be almost impossible to find a regular time each week for ongoing therapy sessions. Other couples may have reached a crisis point and be feeling an urgent need to make significant changes in their relationship without delay. Some may just want to devote a concentrated period of time to each other, free from the distractions of daily life.

If the prospect of spending months in weekly talk therapy feels overwhelming or impractical to you, an EFT Intensive might well be the answer.

An EFT Intensive is a premium short-term therapy package, customized to your particular situation and treatment goals. It includes:

  • Initial 30-minute online conversation with each partner individually to assess for suitability for intensive work
  • 90-minute joint assessment consultation based on detailed questionnaire
  • Therapy sessions for up to four hours per day for one to three days (either consecutive or with breaks in-between) or for two hours per day over five days.
  • Post-intensive follow-up session to assess progress and consider ongoing resources.

Intensives are offered either face-to-face at my practice here in Exeter or online to couples in the UK and around the world.

Resources

If you are interested in finding out more about EFT, “Hold Me Tight”, written by the founder of the model, Dr Sue Johnson, gives a full description of both theoretical and practical aspects of this way of working.

A version of this book for Christian couples, called “Created for Connection”, is also available.